who is able to determine ones' worth in ones heart? can u? i dun think even god can... ever since adam n eve took the forbidden fruit... the one up above cannot control us anymore... sad... but true... i actually hope... our 2 ancenstors... never took the forbidden fruit... or... beta still... god never created us...
emotions... feelings... wad are those things... who can define wad is happy... wad is sad... or even wad is love n hate... all these feelings are often juz separated by nth but a thin line... n often... this line is breach...
these fews days... my feelings was all mixed up... (juz like the batter i beaten wif an electric mixer @ yenting's hse) i juz cannot untangle my thoughts n emotions... n often... i let myself knowingly fall into such undesirable situation... pure stupidity? ya... mayb...
sometimes already know that there is a deadend sign... yet... i still drive myself into the deadend... then i will b disappointed... upset... worried... cry... like wad eileen said... wads the point... no one will noe... but... such things juz cannot b controlled...
walked hm frm the interchange... in the rain... drenched... hoping foolishly the cold, heavy rain will wake up my senses... ironically... the rain washes the pain deeper into my heart... then i realised to wake up means to endure the pain... a pain that i had been through be4... n have to go through again... no matter how...
my efforts... i guess... juz wun b appreciated... mayb... i will cry my nights away... like every other nights... still praying naively... my distorted heart will b re-oriented by ... ...
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