Journey

Was listening to this song.. somehow.. this songs seems to be speaking to me.. i really hope that he will stand by my side still.. but haiz... who am i to hope for anything now...


Journey - Corrinne May

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe

When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
rifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

angry.. i m angry with myself.. angry with myself for not able to take on anymore pressure already.. family, school, relationship, money...

so have i made the right decision to let go? even now it is done.. i know i cannot turn back already.. but i m having doubts on myself...

i juz cant stop crying... the yearn suddenly strikes me...

i duno if i should feel regretful that i had made that decision.. or if that is the right decision that i shld made...

i m confuse.. n i juz have no one to confide to now already... haiz..

i m angry.. very angry with myself... i guess i juz crashed...

today... 19th April 2007 08.39pm... then i know... TPAG, formly known as TPGE, had offically closed down le.. *sob* happened some time ago.. n i only know now... NOW!!!!

sad.. damn sad.. i was not even inform by anyone...

sad... sad...

double sad.. double blow... after the morning incident.. haiz...

not been feeling too well these few days... life kinda sux too.. pple in the working world got pay cut.. i got allowance cut.. juz after my mum announce this 'news' to mi.. my dear N70 screen spoilt again.. for the 3rd time after sending for servicing twice... haiz.. i need money... big time money...

'dear lord.. please start raining cash can??'

haiz...

today.. finally i fulfiled my wish... haiz.. after a long 15 years.. finally.. realli felt a big burden taken off me... =)

but.. i was equally sadden today.. by the fact that knowing how much this thing means to me but yet can say such things to me.. haiz... ='(

suan le..

now...

i need to fix my hp...

btw.. i m planning to sell cookies... try try 1st.. any buyers??? haha...

We are gambling every single day...

How is that so??

Life is itself a gamble.. a gamble of choices... but.. whether u win or lose.. you have to bear all the consequnces yourself..

In my situtation.. wad will my final bet be? will it be a winning bet or a sure-lose bet?

Juz came back frm sch.. long day.. tired... haven been slping well...

haiz..

Esther.. you have got to think carefully what you want... haiz... i hate these kind of complicated situation.. y m i always involved in this kind of dilemma? *cry*

Think.. esther.. think... consider carefully...

i m not angry... realli.. juz felt sad... n disappointed....

wanted to cry.. but juz cannot...

this had happened too many times... perhaps.. i m tired of it le..

promises are not kept.. then why in the 1st place promised mi.. n kept re-assuring mi when i m re-cfming ur promises...

is there still any hope? haiz....

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Life is all abt ass;
You're either covering it,
laughing it,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
behaving like one,
or you live with one!!

sth hilarious happened today.. hahaha... juz thinking of it now.. i juz cannot stop luffing...

ok.. this is wad happened...

went over to bishan to meet zhu today from dear's hse... sat at our usual coffeeshop spot.. n the usual chit chat.. makan.. blah blah blah.. then as we were abt to leave... zhu's bag slipped frm the bench n dropped on the floor... after picking up.. i left the table 1st assuming zhu will b right behind mi.. but when i turned ard.. she was no where behind mi.. realised that she was still at the table.. i wondered wad happened... haha.. then she took out her wallet.. n poured out water from her wallet... hahaha... i was stunned on the spot...

apparently.. when she dropped her bag.. her water bottle cap opened... everything in her bag was 'swimming'... haha...

opps.. i very bad hor.. keep luffing at other pple.. =p anyway.. zhu noes that i will blog this incident up... haha... but realli funny can.. especially the way zhu took out her things frm the bag n everything thing she took out was 'leaking'... =p...

hee...

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Juz got back home frm dear's hse...

tired!!

hmm.. when sch to fetch dear.. but missed him.. haiz..

anyway.. still met up.. watched mr bean last nite.. =).. its a stuuuuuppppiiiiiddddd show!!!! haha.. but thats y its dear's idol..

then tok a cab back to my place to pick up my stats note for class today... omg.. 10am to 5pm.. 7 hrs lecture!!... -.-"

reached back dear's hse at 5 or 6am.. took a short nap.. rushed to sch...

ah mah fell ill.. hai... flu n sore throat.. =(.. sad.. hope she gets well soon...

my tummy haven been feeling too well tooo... haiz.. dear said i got a fever 2 nites ago... haha.. i cannot rem.. juz felt very uncomfortable..

hmm.. there is a decision i have to made soon.. haiz.. i dun wan to do it.. but.. but.. haiz...

Life had been unkind to mi.. Hopes are beginning to fail mi... haiz..

I realli duno wads the future has installed for mi.. i am not looking forward to them anymore.. haiz...

Negative again... mayb... but like i always say.. the higher ur hopes are.. the more disappointed u will be..

so many things are bothering mi..

ok.. i noe i m toking nonsense now.. dun understand anything that i wrote too.. going to end here...

Finally finished all my hsework...

Been out the whole of yest... =)

1st to driving... cleared lesson 31 with 24 demerit points... and out of which.. 14 points is losing due to engine stalling.. haiz.. new car.. i dun like honda city ah~~~ haiz...

then met up with zhu for awhile... tok tok.. then bump into 2 mad pple... hmm.. long story...

dear took mi out to arcade at suntec... =)... i know he had been working for the past 8 hrs.. very tired... but he still kept his promise to bring mi out.. *happy* spent abt 10 bucks playing the basketball shooter game.. hee.. *more happy*

oya.. b4 i left for driving.. sth damn funny happened...
juz as i was on my way to the bus interchange.. at my hse void deck.. there are abt 6-7 compassvale primary sch kids... one of them are using a bamboo stick (those used for hanging clothes) to poke into the vending machines.. n when they saw mi... they juz dropped the bamboo stick.. looked at mi.. n goes "AHHHH!!!!!"... then they grabbed their bag n ran... but they din realised that they left a fren behind sitting at the stone table.. staring at mi... haha.. i seriously think that the most funny part is the AHHHHH part... haha.. u shld have seen the expression on their face...

been addicted to Shakira's songs nowadays... lespecially to the words of the songs.. like underneath your clothes, hips don't lie, illegal.. they realli speaks to mi...

here's the lyrics...

Illegal
Who would have thought
That you could hurt me
The way you've done it?
So deliberate, so determined

And since you have been gone
I bite my nails for days and hours
And question my own questions on and on

So tell me now, tell me now
Why you're so far away
When I'm still so close

You don't even know the meaning of the
words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive,
baby
You don't even know the meaning of the
words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

I tried so hard to be attentive
To all you wanted
Always supportive, always patient
What did I do wrong?
I'm wondering for days and hours
It's here, it isn't here where you belong

Anyhow, anyhow
I wish you both all the best
I hope you get along

But you don't even know the meaning of the
words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive,
baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

You don't even know the meaning of the
words "I'm sorry"You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive,
baby
You don't even know the meaning of the
words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

Open heart, Open heart
It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

Open heart, Open heart
It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

some fotos i took during one of the CNY's fireworks at singapore river.. =)

love firesworks!!!




got alot more.. but its take a real long time to upload.. haha.. so forget it... =p

been mugging stats like a mad woman.. the worst thing happened was that my calculator died on mi... ahhhh!!!!! exam tml.. zzzz....

Pursue of Happyness

juz return home.. hmm.. tired... =)

caught a movie today.. Pursue of Happyness.. by Will Smith... 5 out of 5 stars.... go watch it...

this show realli puts mi into thinking.. abt my life.. my goals..

let mi share sth...

one day.. a man was found drowning in the river... one boatman came to save him... but the man refused n say he is waiting for God to save him.. the boatman left... a 2nd boatman row past.. n wanted to save him too... but again.. the man refuse.. n say he is waiting for God to save him... the 2nd boatman left... after struggling in the water for awhile more.. he was drowned n went to heaven.. he met God.. n ask God.. Why didn't you come n save me? God says... you idiot.. i've already send 2 boats to save u...

this is a joke made by little christopher in the show... which i found to have a deeper meaning in it, other than the humour purpose...

spare a min or 2.. think abt it.. wad does this "joke" actually tells us... =)

i m irritated.. damn irritated... argh... by so many things... y juz cant things go smoothly?? y?? y?? y??!!!??!??!!!????

ahhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~

Just came back home from dinner with baozhu n billy...

tok cock sing song..

hmm... lucky billy got drive car.. else i realli intend to walk hm frm amk... n stupid mi.. left my hp in his car.. heng i rem baozhu's hp number.. else i have to be parted with my hp for the next few days...

this is so bad.. i realli cannot live without my hp sia.. haiz.. technology addict...

haiz.. my memory realli seems to get frm bad to worst too... how how?? old le... old le... =(