For Alvin and Adeline

For Alvin and Adeline

1st of all.. this blog is going out to alvin n ade...

to start off.. alvin.. after reading ur blog.. all i can say is u still dun understand my feeling.. how i feel towards being lied to by u n ade.. if in the 1st place.. u gave ur word to ade not to tell mi.. then y still let mi know that she is alrite.. n tell mi not to worry abt her when i was wondering n worrying how she is doing? why tell mi? why? if u did not say that sentence.. letting mi noe that u are keeping contact with her.. would i be even more worried? would i? all the more i know sth had happened.. all the more i m worried.. i had known her for 9 years.. 9 long years.. n u? how long do u know her? do u know how i felt that she let u know wad happened but not mi? not baozhu? not brenda? not eileen? of coz the 1st thing that came to my mind after knowing what happened frm her fren's blog n friendster.. i m mad at u.. u know wad happened to my fren.. but u din tell mi.. ok.. u promised to keep a secret for her.. but u could have tell her that i m still very concern over what happened to her rite.. i duno lah.. i m confuse.... i juz felt hurt.. i know u are going through alot now.. all that had happened with zhe, sharon, yaorong, eve.. i know.. u n eve always quarrel over my prob.. but like wad i had told u be4 when u n eve quarrel for the very 1st time.. it is not worth.. i m still an outsider in between of u n her.. y quarrel over mi? she is or was the one u love.. the one u wan to spend the rest of the life with.. not mi.. i oso told u be4 that.. frens will always be there and ard for u... at least i will.. but not the one you love... once u lost her.. she is gone forever.. until today.. u still dun understand mah? haiz... correct.. u hate jer becoz of mi.. u wan to kill him becoz of mi.. u still take care n loved him becoz of mi.. i know... u are trying to take care of mi.. make mi happy.. i know.. of coz.. like wad u say last nite in ur msg.. ultimately u cannot give mi the happiness like jer.. no matter how much jer disappointed mi.. it is still not the same.. but still i appreciate all that u have done...

Adeline.. i m juz disappointed ba.. mayb u have ur reasons.. mayb u have ur difficulties.. but.. realli cannot even inform us on wad happened mah? been frens with u for 9 years le.. haven i been there for u all the time until serene came along? every now and then.. not onli zhu or bren.. even my grandma n mother will ask mi.. how is ade.. haven seen her for a very long time.. oso never come and visit us.. i duno how to ans... that is y i had been calling u.. i regretted that i did call out for you when i saw u in sentosa.. haiz.. wan to call u out.. to join us for a gathering.. but i believe u got kaiwai to ans the hp and tell mi i called wrong number.. n that there is no such person?!?!? why? for wad... do u know how hurt i m? we were so worried and concerned after knowing wad happened yest frm serene's blog and friendster.. we are not angry over the fact that u did not invite us for ur occasion.. but the fact of not informing us.. and making up lies to avoid us... we wan to send u our congrats and concern.. but again. u are no where to be found... seriously.. many things had happened to mi for the past one year.. been wanting to find u out for a drink.. to chit chat.. to catch up.. but.. u had been avoiding mi.. avoiding everyone.. i dun mind letting u know.. whether u believe it or not... i had been through the exact same problem as u last year may... i wan to call u out to share my probs with u.. but where were u? missed call.. never call back... msg u.. no reply... haiz.. i m realli dishearted to know that it seems u do not treat us as even ur hi-bye fren anymore... *sad* really.. i cried yest after toking to jeremy.. coz inside mi.. part of mi is angry at u.. part of mi is happy for u.. part of mi is worried for u.. haiz.. shld i still even bother to keep u in my mind? ade.. u tell mi lah.. i duno.. i still treat u as a fren.. but.. i duno abt u loh.. alvin say i m being too much.. i never think for u.. have i not? how will alvin know? ade.. if until today.. u still duno mi.. i duno wad to say le... haiz...

i m not going to spent any time n energy on u le.. whether u still treat mi as a fren or not.. i m always juz a phonecall away... my number is still the same.. never change... same for u alvin... haiz.. thats all.. i m very exhausted le...

lastly.. dear.. thanx for taking the 1st bus over to my hse to keep mi company when i m feeling down..

oh my god... oh my god.. OH MY GOD!!!!

haiz...

been receiving alot of suprises today... two big ones in juz today.. within 3 hrs... both good n bad... both imaginable n unimaginable...

some is i predicted.. expected.. but still.. when i found out.. i was furious... u cannot imagine how furious i m... coz i feel cheated.. betrayed... know each other for so many years another.. muz things be done this way? haiz.. disappointed.. really... so at this point.. should i still treat u as a fren.. as my close fren cum sister? i duno.. u tell mi ba.. haiz.. sometimes when some things had happened in my life.. i wan to call u to tok.. but u juz disappeared... for wad? n when u got prob.. u oso dun find mi anymore.. instead.. alvin actually knows wad happened.. but refused to tell mi.. saying u dunwan to let mi know.. n i had to find out frm ur good sister, serene's blog... sad.. heart broken...

yet.. some thing is i expected.. it happened.. n i m happy.. but cannot imagine.. haha... weird? hoho... wad thing leh? haha.. dun tell u guys 1st... hehe...

a long post

got a few things on my mind... so juz bear with me k.. will make it as short as possible...

many many stuff happened... haiz...

1st.. bro.. thanx for the psp... =) cant take the psp off my hands... n u better take as much rest if possible.. since u are starting work on mon.. double shift again...

2nd.. ADELINE TAN!!! yes.. you.. i duno if u got read my blog anot.. i dun care.. this is sth on my mind for a damn long time.. u had been MIA for almost a year for heaven's sake... call u dun pick up fone.. sms u no reply... msn u oso no reply.. WTF?!?!?! i know sth muz have happened.. but can u at least juz have the courtesy of reply pple?? not onli mi.. baozhu.. brenda.. the few of us are so worried abt you... everytime kept wondering where are you.. sometimes got gathering.. wan to ask u along.. but u will juz refused to ans the call or return the call.. so wad is wrong?? haiz...

3rd.. my mother.. finally she flew to sidney.. she will be gone for at least the next 7 days.. yay?? haiz.. why the question mark? coz she had been making my life like shit be4 she took off...arghh... angry de can...

4th... grandma.. sad.. health not good.. haiz.. pls get better... haiz... hope my uncle's wife can use her brain to think that my grandma's age is catching up to take care of 3 kids.. all under 12..

5th.. EVE... ya.. you.. alvin's ex-gf... happened to read ur blog today... i m not siding who.. coz.. i dun wad realli happened btw the 2 or shld i say 3 of you.. coz.. i m not there... n its not my biz anyway.. BUT it seems that u like to pull mi into the pic when u got into a fight with alvin in the past.. get the fact str8... u dun like mi.. i dun like u.... its a mutual feeling.. AND... oso this fact that i have no grudge against you.. juz that ya.. dun like you loh... mayb u are too young n u are frm a rich family.. thats y you are spolit n oso like mi.. wans things ur way... BUT.. difference here being.. i want things my way coz i know somehow things will or might be better that way.. n the things i want are NOT material things... =) no offence.. dun wan to pick a fight here.. but i letting you understand here that next time on the street.. if u wan.. we still can say hi n bye.. else juz walk far away frm mi k.. thank you very much..

6th.. working part time at the moment.. its a on off thing.. not much money.. the thailand trip can say bye bye le... sry eileen... sry baozhu~~

7th.. Test date for driving is coming soon.. *bite nails* what if i FAIL?!?!

8th.. duno why.. bastard glenn thor (if u guys can rem.. this bastard is unfortunately my ex-bf..) views my friendster... for wad fuck? show ur new gf who ur ex-s are is it? juz like u showed mi like time? hump.. i m juz purely bu shuang... u still owe mi my book n batt!!!! RETURN THEM TO ME!!!!

9th.. baozhu... u realli have to settle ur tots cum feelings leh.. sometimes when we tok cock sing song... on all the things u tell mi.. i realli feel that he is taking you for granted n machiam take u as a toy.. happy find u.. not happy kick you one side... u muz take care k... anything juz drop mi a sms or call mi loh.. i free incoming call anyway.. muahaha... can do that anytime of the day...

10th.. von... my poochy... you are getting very very mischievous nowadays ah.. pee everywhere.. anyhow jump on table n sofa.. going to send u to obedience sch soon!!

11th.. lotsa of bills ah... $$$$$...

12th.. watch Shrek 3 late last nite together with dear's family... haha.. i juz love the pinocho n the prince charming "the interrogation" dialog.. mi n dear kept irritating each other with that segment... lol... "i don't know where he is not~~"

13th.. more movies coming up!!

14th.. my book 14 for samurai X is missing.. *sobs* super sad... coz not in production le... haiz...

15th.. impt.. coz abt dear.. i m going to recognise ur efforts here... =).. muz keep up k... n abt exam n work.. dun worry k... things will turn out rite de... juz wait n see k.. now.. juz take the time off to relax n slack abit k.. (note: slack abit ah.. juz abit hor.. not alot until slp for 24 hrs hor!!) see mayb next week or wad. u come my hse to tong watch vcd whole nite.. or i go ur place k.. hee =D... *huggies*

16th... ehhhh... errrr... still got wad ah.. haha... oya.. last one.. abt exam.. results are not out.. i m not excite or anything.. why?? coz CONFIRM FAIL ah.. heh... =p.. k lah.. cross fingers loh...

okie.. got to go slp.. going lunch with aunt n gramps tml.. then have to rush to dear's hse to have dinner with his gramps.. tml father's day.. wish my wretch father (god knows where he is) a happy father's day ba...

i m busy.. n free at the same time.. why ah??

ok.. go slp.. nighty night...