For Alvin and Adeline

For Alvin and Adeline

1st of all.. this blog is going out to alvin n ade...

to start off.. alvin.. after reading ur blog.. all i can say is u still dun understand my feeling.. how i feel towards being lied to by u n ade.. if in the 1st place.. u gave ur word to ade not to tell mi.. then y still let mi know that she is alrite.. n tell mi not to worry abt her when i was wondering n worrying how she is doing? why tell mi? why? if u did not say that sentence.. letting mi noe that u are keeping contact with her.. would i be even more worried? would i? all the more i know sth had happened.. all the more i m worried.. i had known her for 9 years.. 9 long years.. n u? how long do u know her? do u know how i felt that she let u know wad happened but not mi? not baozhu? not brenda? not eileen? of coz the 1st thing that came to my mind after knowing what happened frm her fren's blog n friendster.. i m mad at u.. u know wad happened to my fren.. but u din tell mi.. ok.. u promised to keep a secret for her.. but u could have tell her that i m still very concern over what happened to her rite.. i duno lah.. i m confuse.... i juz felt hurt.. i know u are going through alot now.. all that had happened with zhe, sharon, yaorong, eve.. i know.. u n eve always quarrel over my prob.. but like wad i had told u be4 when u n eve quarrel for the very 1st time.. it is not worth.. i m still an outsider in between of u n her.. y quarrel over mi? she is or was the one u love.. the one u wan to spend the rest of the life with.. not mi.. i oso told u be4 that.. frens will always be there and ard for u... at least i will.. but not the one you love... once u lost her.. she is gone forever.. until today.. u still dun understand mah? haiz... correct.. u hate jer becoz of mi.. u wan to kill him becoz of mi.. u still take care n loved him becoz of mi.. i know... u are trying to take care of mi.. make mi happy.. i know.. of coz.. like wad u say last nite in ur msg.. ultimately u cannot give mi the happiness like jer.. no matter how much jer disappointed mi.. it is still not the same.. but still i appreciate all that u have done...

Adeline.. i m juz disappointed ba.. mayb u have ur reasons.. mayb u have ur difficulties.. but.. realli cannot even inform us on wad happened mah? been frens with u for 9 years le.. haven i been there for u all the time until serene came along? every now and then.. not onli zhu or bren.. even my grandma n mother will ask mi.. how is ade.. haven seen her for a very long time.. oso never come and visit us.. i duno how to ans... that is y i had been calling u.. i regretted that i did call out for you when i saw u in sentosa.. haiz.. wan to call u out.. to join us for a gathering.. but i believe u got kaiwai to ans the hp and tell mi i called wrong number.. n that there is no such person?!?!? why? for wad... do u know how hurt i m? we were so worried and concerned after knowing wad happened yest frm serene's blog and friendster.. we are not angry over the fact that u did not invite us for ur occasion.. but the fact of not informing us.. and making up lies to avoid us... we wan to send u our congrats and concern.. but again. u are no where to be found... seriously.. many things had happened to mi for the past one year.. been wanting to find u out for a drink.. to chit chat.. to catch up.. but.. u had been avoiding mi.. avoiding everyone.. i dun mind letting u know.. whether u believe it or not... i had been through the exact same problem as u last year may... i wan to call u out to share my probs with u.. but where were u? missed call.. never call back... msg u.. no reply... haiz.. i m realli dishearted to know that it seems u do not treat us as even ur hi-bye fren anymore... *sad* really.. i cried yest after toking to jeremy.. coz inside mi.. part of mi is angry at u.. part of mi is happy for u.. part of mi is worried for u.. haiz.. shld i still even bother to keep u in my mind? ade.. u tell mi lah.. i duno.. i still treat u as a fren.. but.. i duno abt u loh.. alvin say i m being too much.. i never think for u.. have i not? how will alvin know? ade.. if until today.. u still duno mi.. i duno wad to say le... haiz...

i m not going to spent any time n energy on u le.. whether u still treat mi as a fren or not.. i m always juz a phonecall away... my number is still the same.. never change... same for u alvin... haiz.. thats all.. i m very exhausted le...

lastly.. dear.. thanx for taking the 1st bus over to my hse to keep mi company when i m feeling down..