I PASSED!!!! YAY!!!!!

i am a proud owner of a class 3 license... =D

*muacks muacks* to dear dear... =)

Thank you for ur and ur family support through these times.. love u...

finally a load ofF me.. *happy*

oya.. dear dear got me a sims 2 pets... hahha.. i love it!!! hee...

Yup.. i m officially 22nd years old.. haha... yest was the best b-day i had.. =).. want to know the reason??

=D...

Coz dear dear was so sweet... hee.. he bought flowers and make mi a chocolate b-day cake all by himself.. invited a couple of close frens over to dear's hse for a simple cake cutting session.. =)

The Roses from him..


The chocolate cake by him.. =) yum yum...


Dear Dear n me with his piece of work..


Together with dearie's family...


ren, leen, zhu and fir...


Thanks for dropping by pple..



eh.. the knife was stuck in the cake.. i cannot pull out... haha...


After finishing dear's super sweet cake.. uncle and aunty took us out for a dinner at coffee club and caught a movie at cineleisure... =D..


we watched Bee Movie.. its nice!!! haha..



*** dear dear.. thank you for spending time to make mi that cake.. it beats any present u gave mi.. Love you lots.. huggies... ***

3 Ang Mo bastards

A bunch of uncivilised idiots... 3 full grown men bullying an old man who is trying to earn a honest living... bastards... how will you react if the exact same thing happened to your elderly parents??

u 3 know wad is call manners? don't your elementary sch teach u? if they din.. then perhaps you 3 idiots should go back to join the little children for lessons again...

Knn... made mi fucking angry.. you 3 idiots better do a proper and formal apology to the poor old man...

otherwise... May you rot in hell... stupid ang mohs...

i dun understand.. realli dun... how can a near 50 year old fagger claiming to be juz joking on sth but is actually being sarcastic?

I dun.. do u?

well.. i witnessed one incident today... vitim = me...

my fuck-up near 50 year old aunt.. claimed to be joking abt the following incident which happened in a watson store at compass point...

Fuck-up aunt: "i drowned my hp (Nokia 6300).. now gone le.. have to use back this lousy hp (Nokia 6610i)."

Me: "oh.. then how?"

Fuck-up aunt: "duno leh... my fren say go back a new one.. but chey.. where got so much money to spent.. muz save.." *now she is starting to be sarcastic already...*

Me: " then go to the nokia service centre to fix loh.. under warranty anyway... maybe juz have to pay abit coz u drowned ur phone wad.. not like ur hp software or hardware got problem..."

Fuck-up aunt: "still have to pay wad.. u think i very rich like u? buy such a high-end hp to use..." *i m using samsung u700 now..*

Me: " huh? its my bf buy for mi one k... NOT me..."

Fuck-up aunt: "ooohhh~~ then ur bf very high-end hor.." *i blew up already coz she gave me this one of a kind rolled-up eyes...*

Me: " you dun have to be so sarcastic.."

Then i walked away.. feeling damn angry... my gramps asked mi why i mention anything on hp.. i was like.. -.-" i for nth tok abt hp for wad fuck? kaoz...

my fuck-up aunt hp spoilt her prob lah.. nth to do with mi rite... come and say mi for wad.. then say my bf somemore... my hp spoilt for duno how long le.. i wan to change.. but kept delaying.. why? coz no money.. expensive.. then kns.. say i rich.. spent money to buy hp??!?!?! FUCK YOU LAH!!!! my bf see mi so xin ku... thats y he got the hp for mi can...

after awhile.. she walked rite up to me and yelled at me.. say i dun give her respect n that she is my aunt... and that wad she said was a joke... JOKE???? hahahahahaahahAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH... joke my ass.... get ur bloody hell facts right before u start to mutant everything into ur so-called "joke"..

u wan respect?? u are my aunt? hah!!!! then start acting like one to get my respect...n stop thinking that everything can be taken as a joke.. coz THEY ARE NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stupid woman...

get a life can...

still msg mi and say all those craps that i owe her an apology... pui!!!! i oso feel that u owe me a apology... so... say sorry to mi 1st lah... u bitch.... 50 already still trying to act like a 16.... *puke* GROW UP LAH!!!!!

ok.. i m damn slpy now.. but while waiting for my hair to dry.. i shall blog...



actually nth much.. juz took the very 1st neoprints with dear this monday.. *happy* dear bought me a corrine may's cd.. *happy happy*




missed soci lec on tue morning becoz i was rushing an assignment on PBF which i tot i need to hand in.. but in the end no need... super pissed with my lec... $#@$#%$#@%!....

had a ear piercing on wed.. juz be4 i took bus to sch.. =p.. impulse.. impulse...

acc grace to collect her car today... then drove dwn to sch... cut a new hair style today.. =) *happy* then meet dear for makan after his class at golf course.. who knows.. ren and billy oso come dwn... tok cock sing song.. drink drink.. eat eat.. then go play pool.. zzz super slpy...

then took a cab home.. n omg.. the cab got a very strong "ah-neh" smell can... i was slpy.. so i kept yawning.. therefore i was breathing in "ah-neh" air... which makes mi wanna sneeze... kaoz.. reaching back home.. my jacket got the smell can... -.-"... haiz...

ok.. i go slp.. nite...

seriously.. wadsup with the male human species on this addiction on watching porn? huh?? tell me.. tell me!!!! seriously.. can you man survive one day without watching porn?? huh? or u man wil die of horny-ness? Perverts...
PERVERTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Month 1
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month 2
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month 3
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month 4
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month 5
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not ababy. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month 6
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Someth ing is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy!! HELP me!!

Month 7
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me, Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.


My heart hurts after reading this... cant help but remember and cry...

fine.. i m a female chauvinist...

then... the question now is...

WHY????

time for updates... =) the following updates are in random...

>sch started... realli have to buck up!

>been doing a lot of shopping with grace n xinyu...

>2nd year anniversary with dear.. =) dear made ratatuille for mi... love you...

>dearie also bought mi a new hp... =D samsung U700... he knows my old fone N70 spoilts le... n surprised mi with a new hp... *smiles*

>into a manicure craze now...

>tiannee's 21st and grace's 22nd bday juz passed... derrick's coming up soon...

>met up with the 4ch gang end of last mth... makan at marche then head to labyrith.. dear pick mi up after the gathering ended... =)

>took a couple of nonsense neoprint when meet-up with grace, tiannee, xinyu and morgan at hereen... haha...

> ok going to slp now... going to dear's hse to watch vcd tml...

pple say when u are feel dwn.. eat some chocolate... it is say to release some homorone or sth like tat in your body to make u feel abit more happy...

so.. is that true?

i duno.. so i m eating chocolate now.. hopefully to recover a little frm my sad mood later...

hmm... finally settle my eCR.. will b taking 6 papers this year.. so.. pple.. pls dun call mi out to party or wad le.. i decide to MIA for the next one year... =)

anyway.... so i'll be having my class on tue, wed and thurs.. long weekend.. yay!! but not to play.. to study.. study study... muz drill this mindset into my head..

Yest was Dear's bday.. had dinner together with dear's family at Jack's Place... n its the 1st day i've ate a normal meal... (finally!!!)

Went back to dear's hse.. took out the birthday cake i've found for him.. paid by his parents.. hee.... got him a Guess watch.. =)


Eeyore cake... cute anot??


2 big candles.. 2 small candles... coz.. dear 22 years old le mah...


hee.. he looks nervous..



Smile baby.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jeremy... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you...


1,2,3.. blow...


he juz duno how or if he shld cut Eeyore's face...


he cut Eeyore's face!!!


1/4 of Eeyore gone!!!



he looks gulity after eating the cake... heh...

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY AGAIN... LOVE YOU!!!


went to NDC to remove my stitches this morning... yawn...removing off stitches is not very pain.. but.. the bleeding on my lower rite wound juz couldn't stop... haiz.. so i bled for 30 mins pluz... ouch... and according to my Dentist.. after he pulled the record frm tan tock seng.. he say i suffered an acute infection that time.. not a little infection.. but definately not frm my surgury..

well.. today's follow up.. other than the bleeding.. i m healing well.. hahah... yay!!


btw.. i failed my exams.. expected.. so i dun feel much.. but realli got to buck up for the upcoming year le... =)

ok.. day 3..

all i've experienced is misery...

reason? my swelling on my right side of my cheek had increased due to my unvolunteered vomitting which leds mi to Tan Tock Seng Hospital in the middle of friday nite... haiz... dear had to drive over to send mi and acc mi till morning...

actually the pain of the surgery wasn't so bad.. but the vomitting juz worsen the condition to a state where it had became so bad... *groan*

food i've took.. sux!! all i've taken are gruel... *ekk...* i want my solid food back!!! =( even dear make a variation of food (gruel) for mi to swallow.. i still wan to eat soild food... haiz...

had my last good meal last nite.. dear cooked... =) steak with my fav mash potato and cream mushroom.. love u dear...

afterwhich i started fasting for the surgery frm 12 midnite onwards... no food.. no water...

anyway.. surgery is done... i'm in a pretty bad shape now... let mi go through what happen today...

i cant realli slp last nite till abt 5am.. coz b4 that.. is still not my slping time yet... wake up at 6.15am... reached health promotion broad for blood test.. god!! they took alot of blood sia!!! *tsk tsk*

then got prep up for surgury at national dental centre... the waiting time is so freaking long... in the meantime.. when its freezing cold.. i started to see all the patients pushed back into the bed slots after their surgery ends.. they are semi-awake and able to talk abit.. i tot ok.. this is not so bad...

but... i m so wrong...

since i m going for a general anasethetic... my nasal passage way was numb.. my anasethetist is so damn dao can... in the operation theater... on the surgery table... my attention span were spread among 3 nurses who were pulling blanket for mi.. asking me qns... checking my blood pressure... blah blah.. then the anasethetist suddenly walked in.. i took a glance at her.. apparently she started talking to mi.. n i wasn't listening due to the many things happening ard mi.. like i say.. she is damn ba bai! (big shot) expecting mi that i must acknowledge her presence... she started asking me if i had been hospitalized be4... i juz give her my honest reply.. yest... a couple times when i was young like in pri sch era and once 4 or 5 yrs ago for gastrtic.. naturally i cannot rem or know what happened to mi when i was in pri sch.. for that.. she reprimanded mi.. wtf...

anyway.. was completely knocked out after breathing in the oxygen mask which i presume had sedate medicine inside... when i wake up.. i m damn groggey... cant feel a thing on my lower part of the face... juz kept tear-ing and coughing... vomitted too... literally vomitted out blood.. got blood oozing out frm my nose oso... haiz...

i cant feel my tongue.. my lower jaw and my lip... the back of my left hand hurts like hell frm the IV drip.. argh~~

i cant even swallow water or my painkillers.. so got to pound them up to powder.. *ekk* bitter...

after 5 hrs plus.. my tongue numbness faded.. but my right side of lip is still numb.. haiz.. i cant eat at all.. even after my mum mushed up the porridge for mi... =(

btw.. took the reminse of my 4 tooths back.. still can see the nerve attached to it.. haha..

k lah.. i go slp le... medication is kicking in...

haven been blogging.. so... here's a little update... =)

dear took mi to catch the NDP fireworks... =) happy.. even though our secret spot is open up to the public already.. we caught the fireworks on the open space at marina square after a long and squeezy walk frm chinatown...

been to my 2nd fireworks of the month with dear's parents.. then went laviva with uncle and aunty to try jer's cooking... =) then go over to SRC for KTV until jer finished work... haha

settled my bank draft for UOL.. haiz.. ma fan... why cant SIM juz settled everything for us since we have paid so much...

watched the movie 881 twice!! hee.. once with dear.. another with grandma... =).. gramps realli enjoyed the show.. glad that i've made the choice to bring her down.. now.. she juz cant stop humming the hokkien songs... haha...

digged out some old LDs of my late grandpa... brought over to dear's gramps hse to sing..

my dear girl eileen had yet and again injure herself again.. haiz.. this girl ar... torn two ligaments of her left ankle.. AGAIN!!! aiyo... realli duno how many times she wants to injure herself on the same place... better rest well..

hmm.. as for mi.. i m going to NDC for my wisdom tooth surgery this thurs... all 4 teeth will be taken out... yes.. all 4 of them... 3 surgery and 1 extraction... haiz... i am not able to talk or eat solid food for at least a week...

dear had been playing the new games he bought.. Hitman 1 and 2... i've tried.. but catch no ball.. haha.. so.. i m back into playing sims... hehe.. got a new hse with dear.. =)

*yawn*

i go slp le.. nites pple..

angry... argh...

this is so fucked up!!

juz reached home not long ago...

today was actually a great day... went dear's hse to wake him up for work.. then go far east for a spa.. afterwhich... dropped by gramps' hse... fetched dear frm work.. all the way till now.. no quarrels at all... =) we even dropped by at this hougang coffeeshop for makan when dear drove mi hm...

then i was thinking that sch is starting soon... kept asking dear to help mi get back my lecture notes frm alvin but he juz din inform him... haiz.. so.. (ok.. now i m being real extra!!) i went to alvin's blog.. y? coz i wan to leave a msg at his tagboard so that he knows i will be wanting back my books soon.. and then.. i juz have to be sooooooo extra to read his entries.. FUCK ok!!!

KNN.. seriously.. this guy is still living in lala land.. wake up and get a life can.. the fact that eve is gone.. ade will never be there for u.. n especially the fucking fact that i wun forget that matter had totally nth to do with u anymore... correct.. why dwell in the past... why make my own life so difficult? of coz.. if u can say that i shld juz forgive n forget that matter.. then why aren't you?eve broke up with u.. that was like duno how many freaking mths ago.. so.. GET A LIFE!

as for my matter... u jolly well knows that it was hard for mi to try to live with it le.. so why are u adding on to my misery by reminding mi?? very fun is it??

and.. wad pheromone thingy? since when did i have a discussion of such topic with u? since when? pls.. do remind or give mi a hint.. coz i realli have NO recollection that i had ever mention anything on the chemical substance produced by animal which will affects the physiology or behaviour of others of the same species at all.. (note: i know of pheromone is becoz i watched discovery channel at jer's gramps' hse last time..) and.. Pheromone usually refers to insects.. so if no such discussion was ever made... pls dun make up stuff... since when did i ever say smell attracts pple? i shld be the one who says how dare you to make up things that i have/had never say... ccb...

enuff is enuff.. realli...

haiz...

great.. now duno why.. earlier in the morning at 5.22am.. my mum suddenly kept yelling when slping.. (which gives the very angry me a fright..) anyway.. am going to slp now...

being putting some tots into this particular thing called "LOVE".

What is LOVE?

Love
–noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

so the question still lies.. What is LOVE?

a guy/girl says i love you to another girl/guy... so what is love? love is a feeling which no one can realli describe.. OR.. its juz a presence of that particular person that u have grown so use to over the time...

so the question realli still lies... What is LOVE?

=)

dear came over to send mi to work juz now... happy... but that oso means he haven slp yet.. sad sad..

finished harry potter.. haiz.. even harry din die.. there are still too many deaths.. haiz...

sometimes i wonder and dream.. wad is it like to be actually able to perform magic.. magic.. hmm.. something so mystical.. so soo.. sooo... hmm.. no other words to describe le..

JK Rowling's world of magic is juz something that everyone (i believed) will look forward to.. =)

heavy rain... very heavy rain....

Still in office.. boring.. tired.. slpy...

gonna have to skip work tml.. coz dear going to acc mi to pay a visit to the dentist.. lets see.. how many years i've not visited one..

*count*
1,2,3,4.... (lost count)

hmm.. honestly speaking.. lost interest in work.. damn routine.. haiz...

been to a classical music concert at victoria concert hall last sat.. dear's fren.. andrew's concert.. he was the conductor n played oboe for a couple of number.. not bad.. but abit dull on the choice of songs though.. hhaa.. oh well... i guess i have not been in touch with the "musical" side of mi for a very long time..

deeply engaged in my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow... usual mi will take juz one day to finished read... coz i will coup myself up in my room.. n read.. read.. read... but the mi today.. had already took 4 days.. and still yet to complete the book.. *angry*

hmm.. reason? been working and going out alot.. not that i m complaining or wad.. juz explaining out myself.. coz i realli can finished in one day de... haiz..

n dear had been silly by kept asking mi if harry died yet.. or blah blah blah.. he even attempted to read the last chapter 1st.. O.O!!! no!!! cannot ok.. *bleah* =p

juz gimmi one more day.. i swear i will finish the whole book... i will!!!

writing in in a freezer.. (if u know wad i mean) brrrrgggg....

think i'm gonna fall sick soon.. haiz.. been having a spliting headache n backache since i woke up at 7am to do my laundry... n the freezing environment in my office is not helping mi at all...

keep having this tendency to lose focus when facing the computer... been this way for the past few weeks.. i seriously think my astigmatism is getting worse.. (used to b juz 50 degrees on both eyes) told dear i need to get a pair of glass juz for that.. coz when i drive oso like that.. scarly one day u read newspaper with the headline of car crash due to astigmatism.. that would most likely b mi.. =p...

checked letterbox this morning.. no check.. zzzz...

harry potter's out tml!!! yipeee... the very much long awaited/ anticipated/ last/ popular book is out!! sounds too kwah zhang? haha.. coz i waited too long le.. happy...

dear prepared dinner last nite.. haha.. lamp chop.. nice.. thanx dear.. cook somemore for mi n ur family k.. lol.. the most i help u to wash up loh...

right nw kinda no mood to work sia.. sitting dwn juz makes my back aches real bad... kept taking short breaks today.. to the toilet.. to smoke.. to re-fill water.. blah blah blah.. partly oso trying to waste my time ba.. =p... thanx goodness not much nonsense frm my boss today.. else.. i think i will juz go home str8.. (kidding kidding...) how can i juz go home n quit.. haiz.. this is a lousy job.. but pay is damn good.. for the sake of the money.. i have to strive on.. woosh!!

tml not working.. but will still be a hectic day.. morning have to wash von.. then meet grandma for an early lunch.. afterwhich head dwn to far east for facial spa.. fix my heels.. then go hm change n prepare to go out with dear for his fren's concert at victoria concert hall... =)

k lah.. go back to work... eat snake long enuff le..

Strangely...

slpt for only 2 hrs and 15 mins.. i m damn awake... even in this cold weather...

leaving work early again.. going to dear's hse.. i m going to re-charge my beauty slp there.. hee...

hopefully my check can come in by today.. then i can bank in tml morning... soooo POOOORRRR~~~...

realised life is getting stranger by every moment.. the world is changing.. the environment is changing... pple ard u are changing.. i m changing... ok.. this is a very stupid statement.. but i m being very bored now.. so juz humor mi ya...

the reason that i have that thinking is beoz of my conversation with dear dear last nite.. =) tok about alot of stuff and of coz pple.. haiz... lots in mind.. oh well.. none of my biz anyway..

was hsekeeping my email.. this is one old email jessica sent mi.. still find them funny.. haha...

Q1) Ah Mei's dad has 7 wives. The 5th and 7th are Africans. Guess a Chinese idiom.
A1) Wu Qi Ma Hei

Q2) There's a party in the forest. Who didn't get to eat the cake!?!
A2) GRASS because Cao Mei Dan Gao

Q3) Ah bao was murdered! However, the police quickly found the killer. Who was it?
A3) Ah Dou because Dou Sha Bao

Q4) Xiao Bai and Da Bai are bros. As Xiao Bai grows older, he looks more and more like his bro. Guess a Chinese idiom.
A4) Zhen Xiang Da Bai

Q5) Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong. Who will win first ??
A5) Saddam Hussein because Saddam Hu Xian

Q6) What's the panda's 3 biggest wishes?
A6) i. Get rid of dark eyes ring
ii.Taking colour photo
iii. Wanna know whether he is bear or cat (xiong mao)?

Q7) Who will pick up the dumpling (ba zhang) on the floor ?
A7) Xiang Long because Xiang Long Shi Ba Zhang

Q8) There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
A8) The one without the rubber

Q9) Xiao Ming drinks milk to grow up. What does Da Ming drink?
A9) Alcohol because Jiu Yang Da Ming

Q10) Which brand of shampoo is the wealthiest?
A10) "Lux" Super Rich

Q11) What did Batman say when he fell down?
A11) Painful Sia... (Bian fu sia)

Damn... argh... i m realli living in a freezer sia.. its already so damn cold already.. raining loh... this fat woman still go n lower the temperature.. say very hot.. kaoz!!!! yesterday oso like that.. the day before oso like that... kaozz.. i m working in a office in SINGAPORE.. not ALASKA!!!!kaozzzzz.... *brrrrrggggg*

a little tired today.. =)

hmm.. as mention in last blog.. took half day.. rushed to sch.. did a little chit chat with the administrator yest.. hope certain issues can be settle.. else really wasted..

had a long talk with baozhu n eileen at amk hub mos.. apparently.. alot of things have happened... not onli to them... but to mi as well.. so updates ard.. haha...

got eileen to gimmi a ride to dear's hse.. then tok abit at his void deck.. eileen mentioned about
night cycling together with ren, xian and weijie.. n ask dear along too.. i dun mind lah.. am sure dear dun mind too.. (which he realli doesn't.. coz i asked him.. haha..) but all the way to changi village leh!!! 5 hrs plus ride.. my leg sure gone case de loh... that day ECP already killing mi le... must start training up le...

eileen oso said that can go her hse for mahjong anytime... yay!!! can oso bring xy and grace along... yay yay!!! haha.. shiok! hee... happy...

oya.. Marigold's check is finally issue... sending to mi by mail.. hope to receive on fri.. happy...

dear dear oso made mi happy.. even i dun realli like the idea of him not telling mi he borrow the 100 frm his dad for mi.. but still.. thanx... will return ur dad as soon as the check banked in.. =) had quite a long talk abt frens ard mi with dear.. din quarrel at all.. he shared his views with mi.. =).. but sry dear.. have to go home at 2 plus am.. coz i sleepy sleepy le.. n sry i last nite blur blur.. called ur hse instead of hp.. love u...

felt alittle unjust this morning after reading someone blog.. and again.. my temper got over mi.. but i dun care already.. shall not bother over such matter anymore.. juz like i dun wan to bother over ade's issue anymore...

in office now.. although its lunch time.. but i m skipping lunch to earn the extra hour.. so eat abit snake now.. works boring.. but the money is good.. so.. work loh.. i need money for so many things.. my spects, my dental, my sch fees blah blah blah.. the list juz goes on and on.. calculated... i roughly need to earn 1.5k to settle dwn... y? coz my dental will be one of the most expensive item.. total shld be ard 1000 pluz.. again.. y? coz my lower wisdom needs surgery to extract out.. haiz.. 500 for one tooth.. and i got 2!!!! *faintz* not forgetting i still got the two upper ones.. money flies~~~~

talking abt money.. marigold still owes mi my pay.. knn.. 3 weeks le loh.. fucking hell still dun wan to pay.. i need money man!!!! argh...

ok.. today is dear off day.. but no choice kind of a busy today.. sorry.. =(.. coz i took half day off frm work.. meaning i m leaving at 2 pm.. which is soon.. rush dwn to sch to meet grace n settle some sch stuff.. then rush dwn to amk to meet eileen n baozhu.. then go pei dear for the rest of the nite.. then tml morning start work again.. haiz.. (btw.. alot of "then"s hor.. haha..)

anyway.. back to work.. *yawn*

Read his blog and msn this afternoon be4 i left for high tea with family..

Again.. pissed... u are contridicting wat u are saying... wad u shall care for mi.. wad u shall pamper mi but not to this extent... fuck you lah.. do u even noe wads the meaning of care n pamper? let mi explain to u...

CARE
–noun
1. a state of mind in which one is troubled; worry, anxiety, or concern: He was never free from care.
2. a cause or object of worry, anxiety, concern, etc.: Their son has always been a great care to them.
3. serious attention; solicitude; heed; caution: She devotes great care to her work.
4. protection; charge: He is under the care of a doctor.
5. temporary keeping, as for the benefit of or until claimed by the owner: He left his valuables in the care of friends. Address my mail in care of the American Embassy.
6. grief; suffering; sorrow.

–verb (used without object)
7. to be concerned or solicitous; have thought or regard.
8. to be concerned or have a special preference (usually used in negative constructions): I don't care if I do.
9. to make provision or look out (usually fol. by for): Will you care for the children while I am away?
10. to have an inclination, liking, fondness, or affection (usually fol. by for): Would you care for dessert? I don't care for him very much.

–verb (used with object)
11. to feel concern about: He doesn't care what others say.
12. to wish; desire; like: Would you care to dance?

PAMPER
–verb (used with object)
1. to treat or gratify with extreme or excessive indulgence, kindness, or care: to pamper a child; to pamper one's stomach.
2. To give in to; gratify: He pampered his ambition for wealth and fame.

if u care for mi.. really care for mi.. u would have know how n when to keep ur mouth shut when coming to these sort of issues... dun try or even bother to make urself sound so wei da le.. save it..

jer told mi this morning be4 i go hm.. that he had a headache everytime he had to bring mi back frm my point of breaking dwn n anger... seriously.. i had been trying so hard to control le.. so y do u have to let mi break loose? things almost got to a point of no return last nite... and apparently.. u have no remorse at all.. correct.. ur mouth is urs.. u can say wad u wan..but.. keep ur mouth away frm mi... and yes.. i hate u.. i m starting to hate u.. after all these times.. i duno wad to do already.. u urself said last nite that we dun understand u already.. mayb jer still can understand u.. but i dun already... communication with u seemed to b a issue btw u n mi already...

so.. plz stay out of my life already... at least for now.. i dun wan to give myself another opportunity to hear that name again...

thats all...

its 5.36am in the morning.. and yes.. i juz got home..

seriously.. i've been feeling very down this past week... over eCR, driving, working, money.. n juz 3 hrs ago.. i blew up..

everything went fine today.. perfect actually... dear came over my hse early after meeting his fren.. though he fell aslp.. then woke up and took mi out for dinner at mos.. took a slow long walk b4 and after our meals.. contented..

then.. went dwn to meet him.. was actually abit reluctant to go dwn meet him.. coz.. well... take it as i selfish.. but i wan to spent the rest of the day with dear on his off day.. but.. ok.. nvm.. went dwn still in the end... meet up.. i juz left the two of them to tok.. i seriously never tok much at all.. i juz sat dwn there.. drink.. play abit of psp.. stared into blank space.. n feeling bored..

finally got to walk abit.. tot can go home.. in the end walk to mccafe.. ok.. nvm.. then tummy pain.. but no one even bothered.. two of them still continued to tok.. ok.. nvm still.. then he juz have to open his mouth n mention the name that i never ever wan to hear again in my entire life until i die.. he of all pple shld noe this beta.. still can say this to mi.. "not toking to you... "

FUCK YOU!! i haven die yet ok..

not even a word of sorry.. nvm.. then u cannot keep ur mouth shut already meh? still continue to say.. "aiya. not toking to you..."

was so pissed off... i juz stomped off... after duno how long.. dear came.. feeling angry... in the end.. quarrelled over this stupid incident.. ok fine.. take it as that its my fault to feel angry.. but i dun have the rights to mah? juz cried all the way.. although in the end. everything turns out ok.. but.. haiz... this is taxing... this is draining too much frm mi...

seriously... warning to all pple out there who noes and dun noe wad happened.... do not... juz DO NOT mention these names (Jolin, Yizhen, Cindy) in front of mi.. for the last time... DO NOT EVER EVER EVER MENTION THEM... do not blame if i blew up at u or wad... i will cursed u till the very last of my breathe...

For Alvin and Adeline

For Alvin and Adeline

1st of all.. this blog is going out to alvin n ade...

to start off.. alvin.. after reading ur blog.. all i can say is u still dun understand my feeling.. how i feel towards being lied to by u n ade.. if in the 1st place.. u gave ur word to ade not to tell mi.. then y still let mi know that she is alrite.. n tell mi not to worry abt her when i was wondering n worrying how she is doing? why tell mi? why? if u did not say that sentence.. letting mi noe that u are keeping contact with her.. would i be even more worried? would i? all the more i know sth had happened.. all the more i m worried.. i had known her for 9 years.. 9 long years.. n u? how long do u know her? do u know how i felt that she let u know wad happened but not mi? not baozhu? not brenda? not eileen? of coz the 1st thing that came to my mind after knowing what happened frm her fren's blog n friendster.. i m mad at u.. u know wad happened to my fren.. but u din tell mi.. ok.. u promised to keep a secret for her.. but u could have tell her that i m still very concern over what happened to her rite.. i duno lah.. i m confuse.... i juz felt hurt.. i know u are going through alot now.. all that had happened with zhe, sharon, yaorong, eve.. i know.. u n eve always quarrel over my prob.. but like wad i had told u be4 when u n eve quarrel for the very 1st time.. it is not worth.. i m still an outsider in between of u n her.. y quarrel over mi? she is or was the one u love.. the one u wan to spend the rest of the life with.. not mi.. i oso told u be4 that.. frens will always be there and ard for u... at least i will.. but not the one you love... once u lost her.. she is gone forever.. until today.. u still dun understand mah? haiz... correct.. u hate jer becoz of mi.. u wan to kill him becoz of mi.. u still take care n loved him becoz of mi.. i know... u are trying to take care of mi.. make mi happy.. i know.. of coz.. like wad u say last nite in ur msg.. ultimately u cannot give mi the happiness like jer.. no matter how much jer disappointed mi.. it is still not the same.. but still i appreciate all that u have done...

Adeline.. i m juz disappointed ba.. mayb u have ur reasons.. mayb u have ur difficulties.. but.. realli cannot even inform us on wad happened mah? been frens with u for 9 years le.. haven i been there for u all the time until serene came along? every now and then.. not onli zhu or bren.. even my grandma n mother will ask mi.. how is ade.. haven seen her for a very long time.. oso never come and visit us.. i duno how to ans... that is y i had been calling u.. i regretted that i did call out for you when i saw u in sentosa.. haiz.. wan to call u out.. to join us for a gathering.. but i believe u got kaiwai to ans the hp and tell mi i called wrong number.. n that there is no such person?!?!? why? for wad... do u know how hurt i m? we were so worried and concerned after knowing wad happened yest frm serene's blog and friendster.. we are not angry over the fact that u did not invite us for ur occasion.. but the fact of not informing us.. and making up lies to avoid us... we wan to send u our congrats and concern.. but again. u are no where to be found... seriously.. many things had happened to mi for the past one year.. been wanting to find u out for a drink.. to chit chat.. to catch up.. but.. u had been avoiding mi.. avoiding everyone.. i dun mind letting u know.. whether u believe it or not... i had been through the exact same problem as u last year may... i wan to call u out to share my probs with u.. but where were u? missed call.. never call back... msg u.. no reply... haiz.. i m realli dishearted to know that it seems u do not treat us as even ur hi-bye fren anymore... *sad* really.. i cried yest after toking to jeremy.. coz inside mi.. part of mi is angry at u.. part of mi is happy for u.. part of mi is worried for u.. haiz.. shld i still even bother to keep u in my mind? ade.. u tell mi lah.. i duno.. i still treat u as a fren.. but.. i duno abt u loh.. alvin say i m being too much.. i never think for u.. have i not? how will alvin know? ade.. if until today.. u still duno mi.. i duno wad to say le... haiz...

i m not going to spent any time n energy on u le.. whether u still treat mi as a fren or not.. i m always juz a phonecall away... my number is still the same.. never change... same for u alvin... haiz.. thats all.. i m very exhausted le...

lastly.. dear.. thanx for taking the 1st bus over to my hse to keep mi company when i m feeling down..

oh my god... oh my god.. OH MY GOD!!!!

haiz...

been receiving alot of suprises today... two big ones in juz today.. within 3 hrs... both good n bad... both imaginable n unimaginable...

some is i predicted.. expected.. but still.. when i found out.. i was furious... u cannot imagine how furious i m... coz i feel cheated.. betrayed... know each other for so many years another.. muz things be done this way? haiz.. disappointed.. really... so at this point.. should i still treat u as a fren.. as my close fren cum sister? i duno.. u tell mi ba.. haiz.. sometimes when some things had happened in my life.. i wan to call u to tok.. but u juz disappeared... for wad? n when u got prob.. u oso dun find mi anymore.. instead.. alvin actually knows wad happened.. but refused to tell mi.. saying u dunwan to let mi know.. n i had to find out frm ur good sister, serene's blog... sad.. heart broken...

yet.. some thing is i expected.. it happened.. n i m happy.. but cannot imagine.. haha... weird? hoho... wad thing leh? haha.. dun tell u guys 1st... hehe...

a long post

got a few things on my mind... so juz bear with me k.. will make it as short as possible...

many many stuff happened... haiz...

1st.. bro.. thanx for the psp... =) cant take the psp off my hands... n u better take as much rest if possible.. since u are starting work on mon.. double shift again...

2nd.. ADELINE TAN!!! yes.. you.. i duno if u got read my blog anot.. i dun care.. this is sth on my mind for a damn long time.. u had been MIA for almost a year for heaven's sake... call u dun pick up fone.. sms u no reply... msn u oso no reply.. WTF?!?!?! i know sth muz have happened.. but can u at least juz have the courtesy of reply pple?? not onli mi.. baozhu.. brenda.. the few of us are so worried abt you... everytime kept wondering where are you.. sometimes got gathering.. wan to ask u along.. but u will juz refused to ans the call or return the call.. so wad is wrong?? haiz...

3rd.. my mother.. finally she flew to sidney.. she will be gone for at least the next 7 days.. yay?? haiz.. why the question mark? coz she had been making my life like shit be4 she took off...arghh... angry de can...

4th... grandma.. sad.. health not good.. haiz.. pls get better... haiz... hope my uncle's wife can use her brain to think that my grandma's age is catching up to take care of 3 kids.. all under 12..

5th.. EVE... ya.. you.. alvin's ex-gf... happened to read ur blog today... i m not siding who.. coz.. i dun wad realli happened btw the 2 or shld i say 3 of you.. coz.. i m not there... n its not my biz anyway.. BUT it seems that u like to pull mi into the pic when u got into a fight with alvin in the past.. get the fact str8... u dun like mi.. i dun like u.... its a mutual feeling.. AND... oso this fact that i have no grudge against you.. juz that ya.. dun like you loh... mayb u are too young n u are frm a rich family.. thats y you are spolit n oso like mi.. wans things ur way... BUT.. difference here being.. i want things my way coz i know somehow things will or might be better that way.. n the things i want are NOT material things... =) no offence.. dun wan to pick a fight here.. but i letting you understand here that next time on the street.. if u wan.. we still can say hi n bye.. else juz walk far away frm mi k.. thank you very much..

6th.. working part time at the moment.. its a on off thing.. not much money.. the thailand trip can say bye bye le... sry eileen... sry baozhu~~

7th.. Test date for driving is coming soon.. *bite nails* what if i FAIL?!?!

8th.. duno why.. bastard glenn thor (if u guys can rem.. this bastard is unfortunately my ex-bf..) views my friendster... for wad fuck? show ur new gf who ur ex-s are is it? juz like u showed mi like time? hump.. i m juz purely bu shuang... u still owe mi my book n batt!!!! RETURN THEM TO ME!!!!

9th.. baozhu... u realli have to settle ur tots cum feelings leh.. sometimes when we tok cock sing song... on all the things u tell mi.. i realli feel that he is taking you for granted n machiam take u as a toy.. happy find u.. not happy kick you one side... u muz take care k... anything juz drop mi a sms or call mi loh.. i free incoming call anyway.. muahaha... can do that anytime of the day...

10th.. von... my poochy... you are getting very very mischievous nowadays ah.. pee everywhere.. anyhow jump on table n sofa.. going to send u to obedience sch soon!!

11th.. lotsa of bills ah... $$$$$...

12th.. watch Shrek 3 late last nite together with dear's family... haha.. i juz love the pinocho n the prince charming "the interrogation" dialog.. mi n dear kept irritating each other with that segment... lol... "i don't know where he is not~~"

13th.. more movies coming up!!

14th.. my book 14 for samurai X is missing.. *sobs* super sad... coz not in production le... haiz...

15th.. impt.. coz abt dear.. i m going to recognise ur efforts here... =).. muz keep up k... n abt exam n work.. dun worry k... things will turn out rite de... juz wait n see k.. now.. juz take the time off to relax n slack abit k.. (note: slack abit ah.. juz abit hor.. not alot until slp for 24 hrs hor!!) see mayb next week or wad. u come my hse to tong watch vcd whole nite.. or i go ur place k.. hee =D... *huggies*

16th... ehhhh... errrr... still got wad ah.. haha... oya.. last one.. abt exam.. results are not out.. i m not excite or anything.. why?? coz CONFIRM FAIL ah.. heh... =p.. k lah.. cross fingers loh...

okie.. got to go slp.. going lunch with aunt n gramps tml.. then have to rush to dear's hse to have dinner with his gramps.. tml father's day.. wish my wretch father (god knows where he is) a happy father's day ba...

i m busy.. n free at the same time.. why ah??

ok.. go slp.. nighty night...

我怀念的

This song speaks of how i had been feeling this past week...

我怀念的　

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白
你已不想挽回什么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁记得 谁忘了

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背后
也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥
谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的
我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
我放手 我让座 假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得
太爱了 所以我 没有哭 没有说

Exam is over.. finally..

i need a job bad.. i need money.. i need the heaven to rain money on mi...

i wan to save money.. for so many things..

most impt thing is to go on a trip out of singapore!!! i need a break so badly for so many things.. haiz..

anyone got job lobang??

yes... its 8 in the morning.. damn early for a person who knock out at 4am and woke up at 5.30am.. haiz.. cant get much slp recently.. nth that i studied remains in my head... haiz...

starting to have this full realisation that.. i failed in a lot of things... such as?

i failed as a student in my studies...

i failed as an employee when i was working...

i failed as a member of my family...

i failed as a girlfriend in my relationship...

i failed as a woman in myself...

overall.. i m pretty much a failure rite...haiz...

recently too many things happened... and closing one eye does not seems to be a solution anymore... its a time for an ultimate... haiz..

anyway.. saw sth interesting in weiling's blog... pasting them here.. enjoy reading..

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AMand he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked."No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Full name: Leow Wei Ting Esther
Sex : Female
Place of birth : K.K Hospital, Singapore
Hair colour : dark brown
Eye colour : dark brown
Height : 5'6
Writing hand : Right
What do you want in a relationship? : Faithfulness and honesty
Siblings? : younger brother
Do you plan on having children? : See how lah..
Do you want to get married? : Depends...
How old do you want to be when you have your first child? : I have no idea...
How old do you want to be when you get married? : Again it depends...
Would you have kids before you are married? : Depends oso...
Where would you go on your honeymoon? : Barcelona, n somewhere that snows..
Music/TV? : both
Guys/Girls? : Guys.
Summer/Winter? : Winter
Hangin out/ Chillin? : Both
Night/Day? : Night
You know I'm around when you hear? : hear?? hear wad??
How far on a first date? : as far as i m comfortable with.. i guess.. but definiately nth overbroad will happen..
Is it ok to flirt when you have a bf/gf? : NO!!!
Are you happy? : at the moment? no...
Love or lust? : love
Silver or gold? : sliver
Diamonds or pearls? : Diamonds are a girls best frens...
Sunrise or sunset? : both...
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? : yup.. baby eeyore...
What colour underwear are you wearing right now? : hmmm... that for mi to noe.. for u to find out...
What song are you listening to right now? : nth...
What are the last four digits of you phone number? : 2572
Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? : hopefully him...
Do you wear contacts or glasses? : both...
Worst sickness you have ever had? : chicken pox... gastric flu..
Do you like funny/scary/romance movies better? : funny
Hugs or kisses? :Hugs together with kisses...
Do you have any enemies? : mi? are u kidding?? of coz!!
What time is it in Singapore now? : 5.05am
Have you ever been in love? : Yes
Last time you talked to the person you fancy? : abt 6 hours ago..
Do you have any pets? : yup.. my dearest pom pom.. baby von...
Whats the last item of jewellery you take off at night? : my ring
Do you bite your nails? : no.. never...
Can you roll your tongue? : yup
Can you blow spit bubbles? : nope
Can you cross your eyes? : Yup
Do you make your bed daily? : well.. every other day... haha...
Whats sexiest on a guy? : his dimples
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? : Twirl
Do you cook? : yesh..
How often do you have a bath? : everyday.. as long as i started to feel sticky...
How long do these baths last? : 5 mins to an hour.. depends on my mood...
Do you swear? : Yes
Sleepwalk? : yup... happens once every other year...
Talk in your sleep? : i duno.. u tell mi..
Sleep with a light on? : nope...

When was the last time you...
Watched bambi : Ages ago...
Cried : last week...
Talked on the phone : abt 6 hours ago
Read a book and what was it : yup... its abt how much i have in my bank...

Do you like...
Rap : no
Rock : yes
Hip-hop : no
Dance/RnB : yes
Pop : yes
Jazz : yes
Classical : yes

What do you notice first on a person? : collarbone
Do you have a crush on anyone? : nope
Do they know? : never..
Who can you talk to about anything? : baozhu, eileen, grace, xinyu..
Could you live without the computer? : i duno..
Whats your favourite fruit? : nth particular
Trust others way too easily? : at times

Number...
Of times you have had your heart broken : lost count...
Of hearts you have broken : 3 i think.. i duno...
Of boys kissed : hmmm...
Of drugs taken illegally : none
Of CDs owned : how to count sia...

Other things...
I want : the plane that courier my exam papers to crash n burn!!!
I need : dada to come over now...
I have : to start mugging for my last paper...
I wish : i dun have to take exams and to have a memory lost...
I hate : being cheated on...
I get annoyed when : stupid things juz popped into my head...
I confuse : myself alot..
I cry : last week.. more to come...

Are you...
A wuss : No
A daydreamer : At times
Sarcastic : All the time
A goody goody : No way..
Evil : I can be.. so dun force me...
A good friend : i hope so..
Shy : No..
Spoilt : Spoilt? no i m still in one piece and functions well... lol... k lah.. i dun think i m spolit.. no one to spolit mi anyway...

Finished two papers so far.. going to fail so far... haiz.. anyway... 3 more to go.. haiz..

i broke my hp.. LCD screen cracked.. all the 'juice' flowed out... haiz... anyone kind enuff to sponsor me a new hp?

anyway.. dada came to meet mi after my paper yest.. went to La.viva.. got a free dinner frm robin.. MEAT PAELLA!!!! haha.. got free drinks too.. somemore my meat paella is special one... reason? coz now the size of the paella pan is reduce by half le.. the old size ones are not sold anymore.. but i've got the original size one... haha... big portion of food!!! yum yum... (this new girl working was stunned when she took the paella out for us..) hee...

i seriously think next time mi n dada shld not go dwn to La.viva during operation hours.. coz.. almost all the staff will sit dwn and tok to us.. like no need to work already... lol...

Seems that i have no one else to talk to le.. so i talk in here ba... at else.. no one will say things to upset mi or make mi feel bad..

seriously speaking...

whether i m self pitying or wad... i realli feel useless.. i realli have no confidence of passing tml's econs paper... or in fact any paper at all... i know.. mayb i well deserve that.. coz i had no been having the heart to study since the start of my study year.. but.. i had been trying very hard these few mths to pick up everything for the course that i had not pick to study..

yet.. no one recognises my effort at all.. no one.. not my family.. not my close ones...

all i wan was some assurances.. juz a bit..

mayb.. i shld realli give up on my exams already... but.. can i?? i know i have a lot of choices.. i know.. but can i realli make those choices? can i?

the ans.. i cant.. its juz not possible at all..

fine.. all tat i wrote might be self pity.. but i m realli up to my brim.. i m scared to death now.. haiz...

will there be anyone who will understand mi n not condemn mi?

many times.. i realli wish i could juz let my hands go.. juz give up everything.. wished that i had exchanged place with my bro or he is still here with mi? would life had been different? haiz...

anyway... no one cares abt mi already...

got one good news n one bad news...

let listen to the bad news 1st ok? (of coz ok.. my blog.. my say...muahaha...)

bad news is i realli cannot cope with my studies le... econs is killing mi.. n i haven even touch maths at all...

so my bad news is.. my 1st year's exam is gone case..

ok.. good news now...

hehe...

finally after 21 years... n 3 bad teachers.. i finally learnt how to ride a bicycle... hehee.. all thanx to dada... i m so proud.. coz i learnt how to balance, brake, turn n ride in 40 mins.. haha...

hahahahahahahhahahaaaa....

Journey

Was listening to this song.. somehow.. this songs seems to be speaking to me.. i really hope that he will stand by my side still.. but haiz... who am i to hope for anything now...


Journey - Corrinne May

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe

When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
rifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you