heart pain

Finally i had broke down... The things that my mum done in my room... Was the last straw that pissed me off...

the pressure n the emotions that i had been suppressing for the past few months juz exploded...

I cant believe that until today... I m still thinking of him... Cant believe that i can still feel that he is doing some stupid thing that i dun like...

I somehow know n feel that he is attached with another girl already... N i have this gut feeling that it happened long before we decide to break... I know its none of my business any more... I have no rights be to bother with wad he is doing now... But why m i feeling so hurt?? Why does it feels like my heart is breaking up into pieces??

Msged him on mon to get my things back... At first... I planned to get back my stuff after my exams... But the moment i tot that he n his new gf might use my stuffy to do stupid... I was disgusted... I get this feeling that he does not want to meet me to return my things... To me its fine... I can always get someone to collect on my behalf... i juz want to faster get my things back... Thats all... Then he can go n do wadever things he wan with his new gf..

Been telling myself to concentrate on my studies... Exam is next week... But my mind will juz drift away... The news just showed the new theme of this year ndp... My heart aches again... Coz.. We went for the ndp together last year... =(

Haiz...

I have to move on... I have to get use of being alone... I have to get use of carrying all my troubles n worries by myself...

Yet.. Why is it so hard to do so...

13th may coming soon... Will he even remember wad day it is?? Haiz...